FALL LOVE FROM MCSWEENEY'S

IT'S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.

LET'S GO TO MO WITH THE LEADERBOARD

(post to come)

ROUND 2: BEST PIE IN THE SKY

A dash of cinnamon, a sprinkling of nutmeg, and a pinch of ass-clinching intensity… that’s right it’s a bake-off, a good old fashion heart pounding bake-off. Grab your aprons and fire up those ovens cause its pie making time!

How We Played
The second competition in this fall throwdown was pie baking. Only the heavyweights, Bryan, Drew, and Sarah, decided to compete. The rules were simple, the contestant who baked the best pie won. The winner was decided by a complex scoring rubric based on the Bistol Stool Method.

The Pies
Apple Cobbler by Drew*
Cheese Pie by Bryan
Berry Medley Hand Pies by Sarah

The Results
First: Drew
Second: Sarah
Third: Bryan

* technically cobbler is not a pie, tisk tisk.

ROUND 1: APPLES THAT BOB

As the days of October slowly peeled away and fall asserted itself the games commenced. First up was Bobbing for Apples. Aww Apple Bobbing, arguably the most popular of all the fall traditions (if you grew up without a television or friends). The origins of this jovial autumn diversion are unknown. Some say that the game comes from Middle Bronze Age Mesopotamia, while others say that its roots can be traced to the Celtic Pagan religious festival Samhain, in which families would decapitate their youngest daughter’s head and float it down a river. While the genesis remains a mystery the rules are tried and true, remove apples from a bucket of water as fast as you can with only the use of your mouth (that means no handzies).

How We Played
Seeing how this game was meant for 8 year-olds we decided to spice it up with elements of danger i.e. hot stove, knifes, a blindfold, and the obligatory bat spins. Of course we didn’t forget the apples and sink full of water. So the contestants would dawn the blindfold, spins around five times, stumble around the kitchen trying to find the sink while avoid a hot stove and precariously placed knife on counter tops. Once at the sink they would attempt to remove a lone apple all while being timed. The contestant with the fastest time won...

The Results
First: Random Kid
Second: Drew
Third: Bryan

FALL

IT HAS BEGUN

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